It has been one week since TBHITW left us.
I wonder if there will ever be a day that I wake up and don't cry.
I wonder if it will ever matter if the sun shines. Or if it rains.
I wonder if I will ever be hungry again.
I wonder if I will ever sleep through the night.
I wonder why Holly Bear keeps barking at things in the house.
I wonder why people are walking their dogs and jogging by and driving to the store? Don't they realize the world just lost a wonderful man?
I wonder if I should just tell the bank teller, or the grocery store clerk or the couple strolling by how precious and short love is.
Most of all I just wonder.
I don't have any recipes right now. I don't cook. There is food in the refrigerator and I don't know how it got there. One day I will have to unwrap all those foil wrapped packages and throw it away. Not today though.
There are flowers and plants all over the house. I watered them last night. I am going to be sad when they all die. Everything dies and I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready for any of this.
I want people to tell me about him. I want to hear stories about his friendships. I want people to understand that it's okay if I sit here and cry while they tell me his story. It's just what I do right now.
My good friend in Arizona had a baby on Monday. She is beautiful. She reminds me that it is all a circle. One life exits, another enters.