Missing The Laughter and Pineapple Salmon

I realized today that the one thing I miss the most is the everyday laughter that the TBHITW and I shared.

Everyday we laughed.

From the heart, and the gut.

Just good old fashioned laughter. It wasn't attached to anything specific. It just was.

We were happy.

We laughed.

We joked.

We made each other double over. And told each other to STOP.

To an innocent bystander our laughter was probably lame. Maybe even a bit inappropriate. Perhaps even on the politically incorrect side.. most certainly, absolutely stupid to most. But to us, our repartee was funny; hysterical even.

I miss that. Laughter. Just because we were we.

I love salmon. It is versatile, healthy and easy to make. Salmon lends itself to so many versatile flavor profiles. This evening I added a bit of terriyaki and fresh pineapple and had a refreshing, light, yet satisfying meal. It didn't make me laugh, but it did make me smile and that's a start... right?

Salmon with Pineapple and Terriyaki: serves 2

Two boneless Salmon portions
Four fresh (or canned in pineapple juice) pineapple rings, reserve two rings for salad
Three tablespoons pineapple juice
Three tablespoons terriyaki sauce
One tablespoon brown sugar
One tablespoon butter
One tablespoon cooking oil

A half hour before cooking the salmon take the portions out of the refrigerator. In a shallow bowl combine terriyaki, pineapple juice and brown sugar. Stir to dissolve sugar. Add the salmon portions and two pineapple rings, turning to coat both sides and let marinate for 20 minutes.

Melt butter and oil in a saute pan large enough to hold the salmon and pineapple rings. Add salmon and pineapple to the pan and saute over medium heat (about 3 - 4 minutes per side).

Plate each salmon portion with a pineapple ring on top.

I served this with a spinach side salad that complimented the flavors of the fish.

Fresh spinach leaves, washed, rinsed and torn into bite size pieces
Two pineapple rings, cut into eights.
Half a red pepper cut into bite size pieces
A handful of matchstick carrots
Toss with a simple vinaigrette.

Another Season

Thanksgiving is past now.

The food is eaten, leftovers stored or gobbled up over the long weekend.

A new season has begun.

Christmas.

TBHITW's favorite time of year.

The Friday after the "feast" was his official "let the yuletide begin" period. Carols would miraculously begin playing on the stereo. His car radio would be tuned to the 24/7 station that played Christmas music; continuously.

Lights would come out. Decorations would be hung.

Jim's tastes (in holiday decor) leaned toward... how should I say? .... bizarre? no.. cheap? no... they cost us a boatload over the years... eclectic? ... I can't quite put my finger on the word... perhaps this picture says it all?

This is the first fragile (pronounced FRA-GEL-EE) artifact I pulled out of storage today. It sits proudly in our bay window in full view of anyone walking or driving by. I do believe it is my favorite Christmas decoration of all time.

Blessings to all of you this holiday season and if you care to take a moment during the hectic shopping, cooking, planning stages of the coming days, please take the time to STOP. Just STOP and remember what is truly important. Family. Friends. Love. Hope. Peace. and perhaps someone, somewhere, who is hurting, lonely, sad and maybe, just maybe... you can make a difference.

Love,

The Good Cook.

More recipes soon.

The Pain Now

"The pain now is part of the happiness then". - CS Lewis

Would you give up yesterday for the pain today?

For me the answer is no. I would not give up one second of our life together. 

Tonight for no reason (and every reason) I cried. And cried some more. 

At the the 15 month mark I can say that it is a bit easier, a bit saner, a bit less shaky. But I think of my husband and miss him daily. 

At almost 15 months I have come to accept he is not coming back. Jim is gone. Our life together is done. There is no more "we". 

And that is why I cried tonight. 

More recipes soon. 

Apple Cinnamon Loaf

I'm still on my apple kick. The stores and road side stands are spilling over with every variety of apple. Green, yellow, gold, red.. just like the colors of the turning leaves.

This recipe comes from Sarabeth's Bakery in New York. You may be familiar with her preserves. People line up at the bakery to buy this bread and at her restaurant she turns it into french toast. If you make it at home people will line up at your table for a slice. I promise.

Sarabeth's Apple Cinnamon Loaf: makes two big loaves


Dough:
3 teaspoons active dry yeast
1/3 cup water (105-115 degrees f)
3 tablespoons sugar
3/4 cup milk (her recipe calls for whole milk but I used 2% with stellar results)
1/3 cup cold water
1 large egg yolk
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
4 cups unbleached all purpose flour
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature, plus additional for the bowl and pans

Apple filling:
2 large Granny Smith apples (about 1 1/2 pounds) peeled, cored and cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1 large egg yolk
2 tablespoons sugar
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon

To make the dough sprinkle the yeast over the warm 1/3 cup water and stir. Wait 5 minutes for the yeast to dissolve. Pour into the mixer bowl. Add the milk, 1/3 cup cold water, sugar, egg yolk and vanilla and whisk to combine.

Fit the mixer with a paddle attachment and on low speed gradually add half of the flour, then the salt. One tablespoon at a time add the butter. Gradually add the remaining flour to form a rough dough. Replace the paddle attachment with a dough hook and knead on medium low speed adding more flour if needed until the dough cleans the bowl. Continue kneading until the dough is soft, smooth and elastic, about 6 minutes.

Transfer the dough to a lightly floured work surface and knead briefly to check the dough's texture. The dough will be slightly sticky. Butter a large bowl and transfer the dough to the bowl. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and set in a warm place to rise until doubled in volume, about 1 1/2 hours.

When the dough has risen prepare the apple filling. Mix the cut apples, egg yolk, sugar and cinnamon in a medium bowl.

Butter two 8 by 4 by 2 1/2 inch loaf pans. Line the bottoms with parchment paper and dust the sides with flour. Set aside.

Place the dough on a lightly floured work surface. Roll or stretch the dough into a 16 by 12 inch rectangle. Spread the filling over the dough and starting at the top begin to roll up the dough, jelly roll style.

Using a bench scraper or large knife, cut the dough into 1-inch-thick slices.

Now cut these slices in half. It is going to look like a big mess. Don't worry it's going to be great.
Now pile up these pieces of dough and apple into your prepared pans.

Choose a warm spot in your kitchen for proofing the loaves. Place the pans on a cookie sheet. Fill a glass with very hot water. Place the pan with the loaves inside a big plastic garbage bag, place the glass of hot water in the bag, inflate the bag by waving the opening up and down, then close tightly. This will mimic a professional proofing oven. You can also just cover the loaves with a towel and set in a warm place but the proofing oven method works beautifully.

Let stand until the loaves have risen to the top of the pans (the dough will look lumpy) - about 1 hour.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Remove the glass from the pan, then the pan from the bag.
Bake on the center rack (on the cookie sheet) for 35 minutes. Cover the loaves loosely with foil and bake for another 25-30 minutes or until the tops are golden brown and an instant read thermometer reads 210 degrees F.

Transfer the loaf pans to a wire cooling rack and let stand for 5 minutes. Unmold the loaves onto the rack. Remove the parchment paper and turn the loaves right sides up and let cool completely.

Apple Season: Pork Tenderloin with Roasted Apples and Easy Apple Turnovers

When the weather turns brisk it's time to go apple picking. TBHITW and I went every year. When the kids were littles, hay rides, pumpkins, apple cider and donuts were part of the ritual of apple picking. Once they hit their teen years they lost interest in the family ritual but TBHITW and I still went together.

And yes, we still went on the hayride, picked pumpkins, drank apple cider and ate donuts. When we got home I would whip up a few treats using our stash of freshly picked apples.

Here's two recipes to get you started.

Pork Tenderloin with Roasted Apples: serves 4

The sweetness of the apples is balanced with the onion and the rich, lean pork loin. The orange juice and zest adds a nice acidity.

One 1 pound pork tenderloin

Two apples (your choice) peeled, cored and cut in half
1/2 of a sweet onion (such as Vidalia), sliced
olive oil
salt pepper
1 teaspoon fresh thyme, chopped.
1/2 orange, zested and juiced
1 tablespoon brown sugar

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
Rub the pork loin all over with olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper and put in a greased (use a light coating of olive oil) shallow roasting pan.
Arrange the onion slices around the roast.
Arrange the apple halves around the roast, on top of the onions.
Squeeze the orange juice over the apples and pork loin.
Sprinkle the thyme and orange zest over both pork loin and apples.

Cover and roast for about 30 minutes or until the pork registers 150 degrees on an instant read thermometer.
Remove from oven, remove cover and turn up the oven to broil.
Sprinkle the brown sugar over the apples.
Return to broiler for 30 to 60 seconds to melt and carmelize the brown sugar on the apples.

I serve this with simple steamed carrots.

Easy Apple Turnovers: yield 10 


1/2 package (1 roll) prepared Fillo Dough, thawed
1 stick unsalted butter, melted
4 apples (your choice) peeled, cored, halved and sliced very thin
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
Juice of 1/2 lemon

Sprinkle the apples with lemon juice and toss with the sugar and cinnamon. Set aside.

Unroll the Fillo dough with the long side facing you. Peel off two pieces and brush lightly with butter. Lay two more pieces of dough over the buttered pieces and butter them also. Repeat one more time with two pieces of Fillo, brush a final time with melted butter. You will have six pieces of stacked Fillo dough.

Using a pizza cutter cut the dough in thirds starting from the top of the dough piece straight to the bottom (the piece near your stomach).

Place a scant 1/4 cup of the apple slices on the end of one of the strips of fillo dough. Fold up in a triangle being careful to close any open seams. Place on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper and brush the top with some melted butter. Repeat until all the apples are used.

Back at 350 degrees F on the middle rack of your oven for 20 - 30 minutes (check at 20 minutes) until the tops are crisp and golden brown.

Cool on a wire rack. When cool drizzle the sugar glaze over the tops. Store at room temperature.

Glaze:

1/2 cup powdered sugar

2 to 3 teaspoons milk

Using a small whisk mix the milk into the powdered sugar a teaspoon at a time until pourable. 

Do you have any autumn rituals?

A Happy Day

My grandlitte, Jillian, turned four years old.

Her favorite movie is "How To Tame A Dragon". She LOVES dragons.

Jillian also knows how to get her Nani (that would be me) to do just about anything. She asked me to make her a dragon cake for her big day.

Sometimes, you just can't help but smile the big smiles.

It's good to be four.

Sleep and Floods

Sleep evades me tonight like so many nights since TBHITW passed on.

It is hard to believe that a year of "firsts" has come and gone.

I find it difficult to cook. The one thing that has always brought me solace. Peace. And nourishment eludes me.

My tiny town has been devastated by Hurricane Irene. So many people's homes and lives have been forever altered. Yet, I remind myself that it is just stuff. Thankfully no one lost their lives in my community. Yet so many others up and and down the east coast are just beginning the grief journey. A road full of twists and tormented turns that they will have to travel alone. Even with the help of wonderful friends and family they will have to find their own route. Mothers, fathers, children, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews, co-workers, grandparents.. so many people touch our lives that it is hard to imagine how many grieve when someone leaves this world.

For every one person gone, a village weeps.

I have forever changed my opinion on death. At one time when I read or heard of someone passing on I would think "poor thing.. so young, or so tragic or too soon". Now - I think of the survivors and what they have to bear. The sadness sometimes threatens to take my breath away.

I spent 36 hours defending my home against Irene. Thirty-six hours of my heart beating out of my chest as the winds and rain battered our home. At one point my youngest son and I  bailed water for 3 hours -from one in the morning until four am. Arms screaming with the exertion. Water coming in through the laundry tubs and sump pump faster than we could bail. I prayed. I bargained. I asked both Jim and God to help me. And my prayers were answered. Unlike 50% of my little town my home suffered just minor damage. A cracked chimney. A downed tree. Some water damage to the ceilings. Others were not so lucky; they had to be evacuated from their homes, walls collapsed as did foundations. Cars were washed away along with precious family memories. But they survived. And I survived, albeit lonely, scared, and wishing every minute TBHITW was here to help us.

Now the clean up begins. Power was finally restored to our town. The community will rebuild, fix, move forward. Like grief, the torrent recedes and everyone moves forward.

Life goes on.