The Dangers of Being a Food Snob

I have recently been called a food snob. I've been called worse in my life, but a food snob? Moi?

Yes, I will admit, I am particular when it comes to restaurant food. Is that a crime? I know what perfectly prepared food looks and tastes like. I'm on to the tricks restaurants use to stretch their food dollars. I have been down the road of plate coverage and I have eaten my share of "bad" food. I can spot food that has been prepared with quality ingredients, passion and love as soon as it prances out the kitchen door. And I can spot a fake at first bite.

When the best husband in the world and I go out to eat, the restaurant, pub, grill, bistro or sidewalk vendor is carefully selected. 

We can tell you (in our opinion) where the best burger joint is in a three state radius. 

French Country? No problem. Just up the street at a little place called A Toute Heurre (At Any Time) that also happens to serve only locally grown or produced foods. It is packed every night.

Best hot dog in the state? Hot Dog Johnny's in (my kids still laugh at this) Butzville, NJ.

Burger? Wertz's, Home of the Wertz Burger - across from the old Allentown Fairgrounds in Allentown, PA.

Intimate dinner for two featuring the best tapas around? Apollo Grille, Bethlehem, PA.

Favorite Micro Brewery? Bethlehem Brew Works, Bethlehem PA. 

Pizza - toss up between Emma's Brick Oven and Calabria's Sicilian Style right here in town.

 

Best Wine Bar in the state for food and wine value and sexy ambiance? The Wine Loft at the Piers in Long Branch, NJ.  

New York City - wow - I'd run out of blog space. Bobby Flay's Bar American for great food, cocktails and service. Bouley for atmosphere, gourmet excellence and a lovely little lemon cake they send home with you. TriBeCa Grill for cocktails and rack of lamb. Gotham Grill for squab.

 

Le Bec Fin in Philadelphia - a once in a lifetime treat. The Chef's Choice 9 course with wine is to die for.

Cafe TuTu Tango in Orlando Florida for roasted pear salad and other tapas meant for sharing while watching professional Flamingo Dancers whirl past your table and local artists working on their most recent creation. 

The Boat House in Bar Harbor that serves up steaming, fresh caught Maine Lobsters on hard wooden tables spread with newspapers and cold frosty mugs of beer. 

Best Mexican food north of the border? Tinga in Westfield, NJ. A little place where you order your food standing at a counter and if you're lucky they bring it to you when it's ready. 

The best meal of our life? In Bayeux France in a 11th. century manor house - the chef's choice. course after course of tiny bites of unbelievable flavor with perfectly paired French wines and Calvados made from neighboring orchards as an after dinner drink. 

We love food, all kinds of food. But a food snob, me? No way. 

The danger of being a food snob is well, just too dangerous. What would I miss out on? Pastrami and Swiss on fat sliced rye bread from a little corner deli? Funnel cake at a church bazaar, hot from the oil, still sizzling, dusted with powdered sugar? Ham , eggs and pancakes all puffed and golden at a silver diner located on a road to no where? A fresh Jersey peach picked right at the orchard, eaten immediately with juice running down your sleeves. It's too risky to be a food snob. 

AND what about my all time guilty pleasure, eaten in secret, hiding in shame and embarrassment at my lack of will power- oh the childhood memories of ... Fluffernutters on white bread - "oh sweet mystery of life I think I've found you". 

Salty JIF peanut butter with just the right amount of Marshmallow Fluff on way too fresh, soft white bread... would a bonafide food snob eat a Fluffernutter Sandwich? I think not. 

See, it doesn't matter what the main ingredients are, the ethnic background, the price tag - or where it is cooked. What matters is the freshness and quality of the ingredients, prepared with passion and attention to detail; served with pride. So walk-up window, casual neighborhood diner, 5 star rated restaurant, doesn't matter - as long as all of the above is mixed in. 

Food Snob? Moi? Never! Pass the Jif and Fluff please.

Fluffernutter Sandwich (serves one kid in you)

2 pieces white bread (crust on, because you will get curly hair if you eat your crusts)

2 tablespoons peanut butter of choice

2 tablespoons marshmallow fluff

Spread peanut butter on one slice of bread

Spread marshmallow on the other slice of bread

Moosh the two slices together. 

Eat

Smile

Littles, Middles, KidAdults & Shortbread

In my life there are littles, middles and KidAdults.

Littles: this is an example of littles. They are very small people incapable of rational thought or of using the modern facility we refer to as a toilet. Notice the disposable diaper peeking out of Jillian's (the little on the right) shorts. They tend to arise very early in the morning and do not require coffee to commence making noise.

Littles favorite word is NOOOO! They are prone to temper tantrums, drooling and uncontrollable cuteness which renders them unbelievably lovable.

Middles are between the ages of 5 and 12.

They are known for their athletic prowess, superior intellect (that consists mostly of thinking their parents know everything) and their ability to use modern facilities (i.e. the toilet). They are prone to using inappropriate verbs that renders them hysterical (think: fart, booger, doo-doo head, etc.). They tend to make adults laugh, but not in front of them because that would be inappropriate and would not be a good example.

KidAdults are ages 13 to ?

KidAdults know everything. They are absolutely mortified at how incredibly stupid and out of touch old people are (old people = anyone older than them) they are inflicted with the disease of rolling eyes. This condition renders them incapable of speaking to or listening to anything adults say without rolling their eyes into the back of their heads. Do not waste your money on an opthomologist; this is a first time KidAdult parent mistake. The condition will eventually pass without major repercussions to their overall vision.

There are many stages of KidAdults and it depends on the person you are speaking with whether these beings are referred to as KidAdults or Kids or Adults.

For example:

I am an adult to my offspring (consisting of KidAdults and one sometime Adult)

I am an adult to my siblings and the best husband in the world.

I am a Kid and at times a KidAdult to my parents and their friends. As in: Andy and Dolores' Kid has a blog. Or as in: my KidAdult has a blog.

Sometimes my son, father to Hannah and Jillian, the littles (pictured) is an adult, sometimes, he is a KidAdult; even though he is in his 30's.

I'm sure to my grandparents (now deceased) I was a little and perhaps a middle. Or maybe they, being wise and from the old country didn't bother about such musings....

S0, who are you and who are the people in your life? No matter; here is a recipe that will satisfy the little, the middle, the KidAdult and the Adult and in your life:

Peanut Butter and Jam Shortcake:

You will need:

¼ cup creamy peanut butter (do not use all natural types)

1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, room temperature

½ cup sugar

Large pinch salt

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 ¼ cup flour

1/3 cup of your favorite jelly, preserves or jam (preserves & jam work best, but jelly is fine too)

Preheat oven to 350.

Spray bottom of 9 inch springform pan with nonstick spray. Beat butter and peanut butter until smooth. Add sugar and salt and beat again. Beat in vanilla, then flour. Take out 1/3 cup batter, shape into flat disk, wrap in plastic wrap and freeze for 30 minutes. Pat rest of dough into bottom of pan using slightly wet fingers. Refrigerate while waiting for the frozen disk.

Remove pan with dough from refrigerator. Spread jelly or jam over dough leaving a ½ inch border. Using the large holes of a box grater, grate the dough disk and sprinkle over jam.

Bake for 30 minutes or until golden brown. Cool. Release sides from pan. Cut into “pizza” wedges.

Enjoy being a little, middle, kidadult or adult again.