Where do you put your heart when your child will be changed forever?
Where do you put your heart when you cannot protect your child anymore?
Do you steal it away?
Do you deny your heart's existence?
Do you pray?
What if you prayed and your prayers were not answered?
My heart is tender. My heart is raw. My heart still reels from the loss of a lifetime.
And now my country asks me to trust. To give. My son. He will be changed. He does not understand this as he is only 18 years young. He will see things. He will experience things we civilians can only imagine. There are three options to his life as I see them:
1. He will be wounded.
2. He will be killed (God forbid)
3. He will be changed forever.
Where do I put my heart? Where do I put my faith? Where do I put my pain? Where do I put my fear?
Right now I put all of this emotion deep inside of me. I share it with no one; least of all him. The few, the proud.
If you have a moment... a minute to spare.. would you do me a favor? I know that's a lot to ask of readers' on the internet. But could you offer up a prayer to your higher power? A prayer to keep this young Marine safe, sane, happy, and return him to this mom.
No recipes for food. Only a recipe (and a wish) for peace.
|Zach with his brother Jacob|
ps. he is on leave until Oct 1. I am cooking all of his favorite foods.